So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
