I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
