My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
