I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I smell like Dick and happiness
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
