Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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