you would pick up someone in the library
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
