it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How does it feel to date your dad?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
