Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
