Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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