she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
bring money and cleavage
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
