how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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