The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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