I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
