he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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