Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
