I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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