i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
