oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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