Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Even my vagina gasped.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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