I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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