I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
