Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He did a backflip because drugs
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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