everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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