I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You just made me feel so damn special
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
