And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
high people should be assigned attendants
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
