U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
