there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
