I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Girls should come with a carfax report
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
