i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
