remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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