So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
