Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
