Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
party gras won. party gras always wins.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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