Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
