Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
