So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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