I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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