I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
