There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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