I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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