Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
