bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
