I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
