I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
