its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
