no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
