yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
