ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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