YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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