these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Can I color on your dick again?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
